I just hope everything will be fine.

too much to hope for, but You sure know the best for me.

please ya Allah, I wish...
you ease me while delivering my child, please lessen my pain..
please let lokman be by my side the whole moment I'm delivering...

ya Allah, please grant safety to lokman wherever he go ya Allah...
please let him safely arrive home, to me, to us ya Allah...

please please ya Allah...

please ease the process for me to transfer to bintulu ya Allah...
let lokman and I get to raise our child together.. in an islamic way..
let us together raise our child to be the best muslim that you love ya Allah..

please please ya Allah...

grant us the best we should have.

I Just Realize...........

I prefer keeping my mind to myself instead of telling about it to other people.

In Between

Oh this is hard. I need to control myself. Seriously.

The Day is coming sooner than I thought. I am far from ready to face it. Obviously.

Last Saturday my mum, Alex and I went out for a little shopping for The Day. I had objected the idea of going shopping with Alex but my mum insisted on it so I had to follow them no matter what.

We went to The Shop to buy The Thing. Okay. I never expected that Alex will buy me anything that I want. Eh I meant I know Alex will buy me anything that I want but I was never expected that he will do it to that extent. I was impressed. Honestly I was impressed.

I always take everything lightly if there is anything relating to The Day. Or truthfully I always take everything lightly if there is anything relating to Alex. But because of the last Saturday’s event I think I have to take everything seriously.

I admit I had lived my life carelessly and taking everything around me for granted. Worst, I had taking Alex for granted. Maybe I should change. Yes I should change.

Seriously. I need to control myself. Oh this is hard.

Unconditional Love??

Okay I had promised to share on my favorites of ChoaLand. Honestly, there are a lot and I don’t know where to start. I can’t predict how this post will turn out, but I’ll try not to write a long wordy essay. I think some pictures and a little description will do. Yes, a little description on why I like them. Erk didn't I'd mentioned before, when you like something you just simply can’t describe why. Sigh sigh.  Ohh it’s true, it’s true, it is sooooo hard to give your love unconditionally. So, of course I have reasons why I like them. Uhmp.. but when you have reasons to love something, didn’t it make your love stronger? Okay okay, I know you think I’m crapping. But go try yourself. It’s true. I don’t believe people who said they can love unconditionally. There must be reasons and conditions. Like they love someone because of he is rich, or handsome, or he has great personality, or he has good manner, or he is cute when he smiles, or he has cute mole under his chin, or he has sexy hair, sexy arms, sexy fingertips, sexy legs, sexy nose, sexy hair, sexy fingertips, err have I mentioned these? Okay okay, and the list going on and on and on. See, there must be reasons why you like someone or something. Take this example. Someone said she didn’t care if his boyfriend is not handsome, not from a rich family, not possess a great job, she can love him unconditionally as long as he treats her good and loves her as much as she loves him. Sigh.. isn’t that reasons why she loves him? She loves him because he loves her too. Okay, take another example. You said that you can love your mom unconditionally, even if she is sick, or she hates you, she is cruel to you, she always beats you, or she can’t hear or see or say, you still claim that you can love her unconditionally. But you are wrong. You love her because she is your mom who give birth to you and you want to be good to her so that you can get God blessing in the Hereafter. Hey, don’t lie. There must be reasons why you love something or someone. There must be! Even a tiny-unimportant-reason, but there must be! And believe me, to have reasons to love someone doesn’t mean you’re not sincere in loving someone. But to have reasons, it will make your love stronger, stronger, and even more stronger.

Ahh.. you must think I’m crapping again. But that is what I believe in.

Okay I will not continue writing on my favorites of ChoaLand in this post. After all the babbling about the bullshit of unconditional love, I will stop here. See you in the next post!

p/s i love you: see, i said i'll try not to write a long wordy essay, but there you have a long boring wordy essay. sorry. when i write emotionally, this is the outcome. thank you for "enjoying" it :D

Winter Child's Birthday Resolution and Wishes

Last 5^th February is my birthday. I'm 25 this year.  I thanked God for giving me this great life. Yes, I know my life isn’t as great as other great peoples’ life, but for me, my life is great enough. I thanked God for giving me great parents, siblings, family, friends, work and everyotherthing that I have.

The last 25 years have been great. If I’m offered to go back time and change anything in my life, I can be sure that I won’t change a thing.  The past me is what make the present me. I know that is the standard-miss-world-pageant-answers, but yeah I won’t change a single thing.

Okay, I lied.

If I’m offered a chance to turn back time, there are certain things that I would like to amend which I presume will make me a better-greater person than I am now.

But to have an intention to change the history of my life shows that I regretted my past. I don’t want that. I don’t want to have any regrets. So I have to embrace my past, and determine to lead my life in a better way, so that in any time in the future I will be a better-greater person that I dreamt to be.

I’ve been so eager to set up birthday resolutions for this year. Basically I have put a detail plan on what I want to achieve this year and the methods in achieving them, but to share all that on public would be embarrassing. So I will just share my general birthday resolutions for this year.

To be more hardworking

To be more serious when situation needs me to be serious

To learn to cook

To achieve the ideal weight

To learn hanguk language

To settle my debt

To live happily and cheerfully everyday

To forgive everyone everyday

To treat my parents and siblings better

To be a better Muslim

That's basically all. Oh I also have some birthday wishes. Okay this is my birthday wishes for this year:

1) To own Nikon D90

2) To own iPhone4 32gb

3) To have a beautiful memorable wedding

4) To go for a sweet relaxing honeymoon

5) To live happily ever after

Okay that is all for now. I will end this entry with a sweet video of Winter Child sung by Suzy of Miss A. I regard this as my birthday present from my beloved ChoaLand. I discovered this song when I watched Dream High episode 5 which aired on 7^th Feb. The scene when Hyemi sings this song to Jinguk was so sweet. Jinguk expressions made me speechless. And Suzy's voice is sooo undeniably awesome. Oh and the lyrics of this song, it is so simple and sweet and I love the lyrics so much.

Winter Child by Suzy (Miss A)

Hangul Lyrics

겨울에 태어난 아름다운 당신은

눈처럼 깨끗한 나만의 당신

겨울에 태어난 사랑스런 당신은

눈처럼 맑은 나만의 당신

하지만 봄, 여름과 가을, 겨울

언제나 맑고 깨끗해

겨울에 태어난 아름다운 당신은

눈처럼 깨끗한 나만의 당신

하지만 봄, 여름과 가을, 겨울

언제나 맑고 깨끗해

겨울에 태어난 아름다운 당신은

눈처럼 깨끗한 나만의 당신

생일 축하합니다. 생일 축하합니다

생일 축하합니다. 당신의 생일을

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

English Translation

Born in the winter

Beautiful you

Clean like snow

You belongs to me

Born in the winter

My Lover

Clear like snow

You belongs to me

Whether springs, summer, autumn or winter

Always clear and clean

Born in the winter

Beautiful you

Clean like snow

You belongs to me

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Oooh Happy birthday to you

Your birthday..

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

My Midvalley Day

Yesterday was My Midvalley Day. Yes, I am a girl who has My Midvalley Day. Twice a month, minimum. I can say that this is my life routine since like..... forever? Uhm... Nope. Since last March. Yes.

What is My Midvalley Day?

My Midvalley day means any day that I let myself exploring the Mid Valley Megamall. Usually I go there alone after work. That means most of My Midvalley Days fall on weekdays. And I won’t catch my komuter before 8.30p.m. So, basically I have around two and a half hour to browse the Mid Valley Megamall. Alone.

Sometimes there are exceptional cases when I had My Midvalley Day on weekend or public holiday. For these cases, I went with my friends. But these cases is so not frequent like twice a year maybe and usually we went there because the Mid Valley Megamall hosted events such as Chocolate Fair, Career Fair, Postgrads Fair, Wedding Fair, etc.

Why Midvalley Megamall?

This is the easiest question. Because I like Midvalley Megamall. For me everything I need is there. And there is no other explanation. Because when you like something, you just simply can’t describe why.

What do I do on My Midvalley Day?

Browsing the Midvalley Megamall. Duhh. But actually when My Midvalley Day falls on weekdays which is twice a month, that means I have an appointment at The Boulevard at 6.00p.m. The Boulevard is situated between the Midvalley Megamall and The Gardens. The appointment won’t be finished until 7.20p.m. After that, then only I can start visiting my favorite shops. Yes, of course I have my favorite shops. Okay, I will casually list down my so-called-habit or things-that-I-usually-do on My Midvalley Day.

5.00pm: Storm out of office and take Putra LRT to KL Sentral. From KL Sentral I take KTM Komuter to Midvalley Megamall.

5.45pm: Arrive at Midvalley Megamall. Visit the newspaper/magazine shop (I don’t know the name of the shop. Never bother to check. Maybe next time I will check the shop’s name, if I ever come to remember). This is the first shop that you will see when you enter the Midvalley from the komuter station. In front of this shop is RotiBoy. At this shop I will check my favorite magazines: Female and ePop. I will check the cover page of Female, is there are any good contents that attract me, I will buy. But for ePop, I will buy straight away. When ePOP is out of stock, or the new issue is not come out yet, I will go… berasap berasap berasap~

5.48pm: Stop by Guardian. I always prefer Guardian than Watson. Check if there is any special offer for product that I use, or just buy anything that I need.

5.50pm: Make a quick stop at Vincci. Check: if there is anything nice for me and if the anything-nice-for-me is on sale. If there is, make a mental note to come back here after the appointment.

5.55pm: Stop by MPH. Go to Comic Section and check if there is any new good comic has come out. If there is, and if there is allocation to buy comics that day, then take and buy. But if there is no allocation, then memorize the title of the new good comics and make a mental note to ask my sisters to borrow them from friends at school. Then go to my favorite section: Language and let myself drool over the Korean text books, dictionaries and phrase books. Fight the urge to buy them by reminding myself that I haven’t finish studying the last text book that I have bought a few months before.

6.00pm: The Boulevard for the appointment. Greet everyone, let myself settle down and indulge.

7.20pm: Stop by Vincci again. Try the shoes that I have spotted before. Walking around Vincci with the shoes while checking around if there are other nice shoes. And if the one that I tried is perfect, I put it on the cashier counter and queue to pay. Oh when speaking about shoes, the one that I first spotted always is the perfect one. But if they don’t have that perfect shoes in my size, sigh, I will go… berasap berasap berasap~ (Note: Yesterday I bought a pair of new shoes! It’s a denim peep-toe platform. My first peep-toe platform ever.) Sometimes, after visiting Vincci, I will visit Hush Puppies as well. Hush Puppies is just in front of the Vincci. 

7.40pm: To Surau for Maghrib prayer.

7.55pm:  Browse into Jusco supermarket. Go to sushi section, drool myself and eat all the sushies with my eyes.

8.15pm: Go to my favorite outlet in front of the Jusco Supermarket: Mint De Tri Kimbab. Buy one tuna kimbab and soy drink.

Kimchi Chiken is the best-sellers but because of I don't eat chicken, so Tuna is my favorite. (picture taken from google image)

8.30pm: If I’m not buying kimbab, I will stop by the newspaper/magazines shop just before the komuter station to buy bread and juice. Then heading to komuter station, buy ticket and wait for komuter to come. While waiting for komuter, I will eat my kimbab or bread and read the magazines that I have bought.

10.00pm: Reach Seremban.

So, that is all about My Midvalley Day. Thank you for reading my standard-six-type-of-essay.

thebiggestsky first time blogging

Okay, Hi! This is my first time writing in a blog, so I don't know what topic should I compose. Okay I lied. Gosh, I'm giving bad impression on my first entry! 

I do have blogs before, but I have deleted the blogs not long after a few posts. But I have been wanting to start blogging again since last year but I delayed it until recently I found several blogs that give me inspiration to start blogging again. I found blogging have a lot of advantages. I can express everything inside here freely and honestly. I have a lot in me to share with the world but I always kept them to myself. Okay don't get me wrong. I am not a biggie as to say that I have a lot to share with the world. But I mean I intend to blog to share my humble experiences, thoughts and obsessions. And when I am posting it in the blog which can be viewed by anyone in the world, it's like I'm sharing my story with the world. Nahh why should I bother to explain this. And I am not that stupid to anticipate anyone to read my blog. But if you ever stop at my blog, I thank you. If you ever stop at my blog and read the entry, I thank you. If you ever stop at my blog, read the entry and you like it, I thank you.   

So, yes I will be determined this time to constantly blogging and not deleting this blog after a few posts. 

Basically, this blog will be everything about me. As stated on the description of this blog, the story that I will tell here is everything about me and the two worlds that I'm living in. Anyone might wonder what the heck is the two worlds that I'm mentioning here. Okay, I plan not to tell about it on this post. Next post maybe.

Before I end this entry, a little bit about thebiggestsky. Why am I so fond of the word thebiggestsky? I got this word from a quote, "The biggest sky is always behind your back". Oh it is actually a phrase, but I made it a word so that's why here we have thebiggestsky. I got this quote from the korean drama: Goong, whereby this quote is written at the back of a photo of the scenery of an ocean with a background of the big sky. Okay, there is a lot of "of" there. But never mind. Actually that is from the scene where Shin Goon sitting alone with his bare feet at his secret place which is one of an attic of the palace reminiscing his days with Hyo Rin. And at that time he feels a little down with all the expectation that has been put on him from everyone. Oh okay, I'm not doing review for this drama but I just want to describe how I get this word thebiggestsky. So, from then, I always rely on this quote whenever whenever. I mean whenever. Okay I know that is so not understandable. I will explain. "The biggest sky is always behind your back", no matter how low I feel or how good I feel the biggest sky is always behind my back. It means whenever there is no one to support me, to cheer me up, to share the happiness with me, but when I look at my back, the biggest sky is always there. So why do I bother to feel low at all. Oh I forgot to explain that in my case, I regard my family and good friends who never stop from supporting me all my way, as my thebiggestsky. So I do cherish my thebiggestskies, and I do hope that I can be their thebiggestsky as well.

Oh I never thought my first entry will be this long. So, till we meet on the next entry :D